I finally figured out why people say missions are hard! It has seriously taken me up until this last Sunday to figure it out but whoa, when I did it just hit me in the face. Don't get me wrong, I love being out here, I love the experience, and I love seeing miracles everyday. But when I first heard people talk about it being hard work I thought they were talking about the activities we do everyday.
Is it that we have to wake up at 6:30 every morning? No, that's not it. That is just like any other job. Well then maybe it is the exercise we have to do? No, I like to exercise. It helps keep me good looking ;) and gives my body endorphins. Well what about the tracting or coming up to random strangers? No, I'm like a social butterfly and don't really get offended if someone slams a door in my face. Doesn't hurt my feelings in that way.
So what is it? Is it teaching lessons about the gospel when I feel like I really know is my own testimony? No, that is not it either! That is what I enjoy when I actually get to bear testimony about something that has changed my life!
What really makes a mission hard is that I can't convince people! No matter what I do as a missionary is I have to understand that people still have their free agency. They still get to choose whether to accept or reject this great message. And all they have to do to know it is by reading a book! The Book of Mormon! That is all I ask. Read and pray about it.
So what is the ramble about this for? Because the other day I was angry. I was so mad after meeting with one of our investigators because we took about five steps backwards when we realized he isn't understanding things as we would have liked. He said he didn't think we were serious when we invited to him to be baptized! Oh, I am so sorry buddy, but I was not joking!
But after praying and then reading my scriptures I finally felt this calming reassurance come over me. And it was from the peace I had as I read. I know the Book of Mormon is real and I know that it changes lives. It changed mine!
Love you family.
Sister Beames
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